Being a Beginner

I’m not great at being a beginner at things.  I am way too hard on myself and feel I “should” be able to pick something up quickly and if I can’t, it more often than not frustrates me and starts the negative self-talk loop in my head. I’m sure I’m not the only one that does this.  I don’t completely know where this comes from.  I know I was good at school as a kid without having to work at it much and maybe somehow my head understood being “smart” as being able to do anything I tried well the first time or two I did it.  Maybe that’s just the excuse I give myself to not have to be responsible for my thoughts/feelings/reactions to not being able to just pick something up and do it well in the first few times.  But it is still causing me problems in my “now”.  Trying something new fills me with dread many times and fear that I won’t be “good enough” at it to continue.  Seems silly when I think about it, since I remember telling my boys many, many times as they were growing up that it’s ok to not be great at something the first time or two you try something – that’s what practice is for.  Hmmm, if only I could have actually HEARD those words deep inside and taken them to heart.  But, the lesson comes around and around again until we are ready to address it and work on it. 🙂

I signed up to take Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy Level 3 starting in June.  Some groundwork I need to do for myself before June is to commit to and become consistent with my daily home yoga practice.  I have dabbled in a home practice and while I have received my 200-hour yoga teacher certification, which encouraged us to start and be consistent with a home practice, I have always preferred going to a studio for classes.  I had this notion in my head of what a home practice should look like and I felt I could not do it, so I never gave myself a chance to try it and explore on my own what it could be and should be FOR ME.  It is not feasible for me to go to a studio everyday right now, so I began searching my heart to see how I was going to handle this.  A requirement of the Level 3 training is a daily home practice, so I had to decide how much I want to do this training and how much I want to grow.  I could choose not to do the training and continue to live my life the way I have been, or I could choose to do the training, try some new things, learn about myself – when to push and when to back off, really dig deep and uncover who I am and what I’m made of.  I had the realization the other day that I have dreams inside me bigger than even I can comprehend.  I told this to my husband and he said “yea, I knew that about you a long time ago.”  Damn, why can’t I see what he sees!!  Anyway, if I’m going to become the person that can open those dreams up and actually accomplish them, I’m can’t skate by only doing what I know.  I’m going to have to try new things, suck at them, fall down, get up, try again, get closer, fall again, get up again, try again.  That person is going to have to be a beginner at a lot of things.  She is going to have to allow herself to FEEL all those emotions that come up.  Each and every one of them, fully, completely, thank them for stopping by and then let them go.  Don’t hang on to the anxiety of new, or the frustration of confusion, or the embarrassment of mistakes, or the elation of finally getting it.  It’s all part of the lesson, but don’t get hung up on any one piece.

I dug deep and decided I want to do the training and in the process grow into a much better version of myself.  So, I read a few articles online and found a few that inspired me to get on my mat at home.  I did a week solid – including Christmas morning for some grounding before everyone came over, which was a great thing considering the couple of fiascos that happened that day, to which I did not completely come unglued, although I did react.  It’s a little difficult not to freak out a tiny bit when there is water leaking from the ceiling into the main level bathroom and you aren’t sure what is causing it, or when the oven decides to keep turning off while you are trying to cook rolls for Christmas dinner. Thankfully, those incidents turned out to not be as bad as my head thought they might.  I took the 26th to just enjoy some quiet time in the morning, then I got sick for several days, so my yoga became taking care of myself and resting.  Now, I’m either being lazy or I’m just enjoying my husband taking some time off from work and spending it with him before we go full force back into routine.  Either way, I’m in my now and enjoying it, so I’m not stressing about it.  I feel I have a better handle on what I want and need my home yoga practice to look like and I was really enjoying it, so I believe I will get back to it.

A couple of articles that really struck me and gave me the push I needed to just get on the mat and get into my body are listed below.

The Basic Principles of Building a Home Yoga Practice by Kara-Leah Grant, found here http://theyogalunchbox.co.nz/how-to-build-a-home-yoga-practice/

The Beginner’s Guide to Home Yoga Practice by Kate Hanley, found here https://yogainternational.com/article/view/the-beginners-guide-to-home-yoga-practice

The idea that I can give myself permission to tap into my body to listen to what it needs and to create the type of practice that feeds my body each day instead of having to force myself to go through poses I think I should be doing is a relief.  It makes me WANT to get on the mat because I know if I honor my body there will be days where I will want to create heat and sweat will drip from me and others where I need some yummy yin followed by my favorite restorative pose. I will find balance and become healthier and this will translate out into my life.

Allowing myself to be a beginner at a home practice will assist in my growth of being a willing beginner at many things in my life.  I think this will be a good thing and a nice way to start 2015.  Give yourself permission to be a beginner at something and see what happens!  It might surprise you.

Wishing you all many blessings for a spectacular 2015.

Tamara

Getting back into it

What a year it has been.  Retreating inward, venturing out in small doses, venturing out on a larger scale, taking a huge leap and risk to grow personally and spiritually, retreating inward to process some experiences, and now beginning to venture out and step into my potential.

I’m getting myself off autopilot and really beginning to listen to my inner voice for direction and decisions.  I’m beginning to listen to the little messages my intuition gives me through my body – tightness in my stomach, a back injury, a heart that feels like it will burst open from excitement, or feeling strong, brave and confident when I’m doing something that is completely in line with higher purpose.

As I continue my journey in 2015, I want to share my experiences of growth from yoga, reiki, meditation and working with clients. It is my hope that perhaps something I share through my experiences will inspire someone to begin to listen to their inner wisdom and find courage to make changes toward a more fulfilling life experience.

Tamara

The Inner Circle

So I admit it’s been too long since I’ve shared some thoughts.  I also admit that old patterns of negative thinking engulfed me somewhere in December and didn’t let go until I beat them back with a stick in the new year.

My husband will tell you I’ve almost always been one of those people that sees things as “me against the ENTIRE world”.  I’m not sure where I picked that view from…sure I was picked on as a kid by classmates for various reasons and even though I was smart I felt I was always ‘proving’ my worth to people…but we all have baggage of some variation from our childhood, so that’s not a good reason.  I have become more aware of this attitude and work on changing it.  But every now and again some unwelcome, sad thought finds a crack in my foundation and gets in and festers.  This was one of those times.

I can no longer remember what thought got in, but the spiral downward was fast and hard.  The slap to the face (& wake-up call) came when I mentioned to a friend how I was feeling and this friend simply dismissed what I was saying.  Now, I realize she did not want to pity-party with me and that honestly wasn’t what I was after…I just wanted to be heard.  Sometimes we simply need someone to listen to what has been weighing on our hearts so we can release it and move on.  I do have someone so very special to me (beyond my husband) who will do that and I did reach out to her later that week to talk things through.

This started me thinking about who I let in to my inner circle…or more precisely, who I PUT in my inner circle.  My pattern seems to be: meet someone and get to know them and begin to trust them, thrust them into my inner circle, then wonder why they aren’t there for me when I need them.  This is simplified somewhat to keep my ramblings in check, but this appears to be the pattern.  My expectation of friendship is apparently out of whack.  Not everyone wants to be that far in to the inner circle and certainly not everyone deserves to be that far in.   As I move through 2014 I will be more aware and cautious of who I allow to have that much access to my heart, soul and vulnerability.  I will not close myself off, but I will not blindly allow everyone in so close so quickly.

I have set some goals this year to get involved in some new groups to meet new people.  Not only do I need some new people in my life to keep it interesting and fresh, but I need to continue to let people know about my business – I can’t grow it if no one knows I’m here.  It is amazing when you are with a group of positive, uplifting, energetic, fun-loving people (especially women) how your mood and outlook can change.

I have also realized that I am really good at giving love to people, but I am not so good at ACCEPTING and EMBRACING love that is offered to me.  I am working on that because it feels so good to walk into someone’s open arms and be able to be vulnerable and myself.

I am feeling better and the cracks have been filled.  It’s a new day each and every day full of possibilities and love if I will just keep my eyes and heart open to them. 🙂

If any of this rings true on some level, then I encourage you to look at your inner circle to see if those who are there belong there.  Also, begin to look for ways to accept love from those who might have been offering it all along.   You have the choice to be happy.

Peace and Love,

Tamara

careful, CareFul, CAREFULLLLL

As I was preparing to host Thanksgiving dinner for my family, one of the things on my “to-do” list was to rinse the china.  It had been well over a year since the china had been used and it had collected a bit of dust while sitting patiently in the china cabinet.  This china is very special to me…it was my grandmother’s.

I have such fond memories of time with my grandparents…spending a couple of week (or more) over the summer at their house playing Old Maid, getting Dairy Queen ice cream, listening to KC Royals baseball games on the radio, picking tomatoes and digging up potatoes from the garden.  I could go on and on, but back to the china.  I am the oldest of seven granddaughters.  I was the first one, and for a while the only one, to get to sit at the “adult” table and eat off the pretty plates with the delicate blue flowers adorning the rim – blue is my favorite color.  It made me feel so grown up!  I remember sitting at many Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter dinners eating off that china and feeling special.  I remember being told to be careful with it and I was.  It was a privilege (at least in my child-mind) to get to use the pretty china.

When grandma passed away over 16 years ago, I was lucky enough to be granted the gift of this china.  I don’t use it nearly as often as I should – that’s a whole other post…but it has been with me and I have even displayed a couple of settings in the display portion of my china cabinet.  I smile each time I look at it.

As I was pulling each piece out of the cabinet and taking it to the kitchen to be rinsed I would hear the word “careful” in my head.  While rinsing each dish and moving it to the towels set out on the counter to dry, the word “CareFul” was a bit louder in my head.  When I was washing and putting the pieces back into the cabinet after Thanksgiving dinner the word was “CAREFULLLLL”.  It made me stop and think…if I broke a piece would it really change my memories of those wonderful times, would it change the fun dinner I had just hosted for my family, would it lessen the special place my grandmother has in my heart???  The answer is no…sure, I’d be sad for a bit for the accident and incomplete set, but nothing in my life would change.

This started me down a path of “what if we treated our relationships with the same care and delicate touch we save for our china?”  What would that be like?  What if we said only kind things to ourselves instead of constantly yelling at ourselves for all of our perceived faults?  What if we shook our heads in corny goofiness at our significant other’s forgetfulness instead of engaging in all out war over a forgotten chore?  What if we really listened to the words our friends are saying when getting together with them instead of checking email, social media, or the text from our kids about an issue that Dad really could have handled?  Would we be happier?  Would we be able to see the good right in front of us instead of only the bad?  This concept doesn’t have to be reserved for those closest to us either.  It can (and should) extend to coworkers, bosses, employees, business clients, the checker at the store, the crazy driver who just cut you off in traffic, and the people on the other side of the world whom you don’t know but share space with on this planet.

If we don’t treat our relationships with care we risk losing them and relationships when gone leave a lasting void, unlike losing a piece of china.  Sure, some relationships can become toxic and may need to be released and some run their course and weren’t meant to last a lifetime.  It takes courage and strength to assess the way we treat others (and ourselves) and change that treatment, but I wholeheartedly believe it is worth it.  Start with yourself, give yourself compassion and love and go from there-see where it takes you.

Compassion…it can change you and the world.

Peace and Love,

Tamara

Restorative yoga=rest-full yoga

I will say that any form of yoga can be restorative (restoring strength, flexibility, connection to breath) in some manner. But what I’m talking about is a type that decreases forms of stimulation so you can get in touch with yourself and what’s going on in your body and mind.  We are over-stimulated as a society, and we need to move back to more of a place of peace and quiet where we can appreciate ourselves, those around us, and nature in general.

I received my restorative yoga certification from Judith Hanson Lasater.  She is an amazing teacher with a way with words.  I utilize her book Relax and Renew as the basis of my classes.  She teaches us that restorative yoga relies on eight key conditions to help the body relax.  They are physical comfort, muscle release, warm skin, a reclined or inverted posture, darkness, pressure on the bones around the eyes, permission to relax, and holding the pose for a sufficient amount of time.

I view restorative yoga as rest-full yoga.  It is about getting the body into supported positions so the muscles can relax and release stored tension brought on from our everyday experiences.  It helps you become aware of where you store tension in your body.  Relaxation brought about by restorative yoga can reduce stress symptoms by slowing the heart rate, lowering blood pressure, slowing your breathing rate, increasing blood flow to major muscles, reducing muscle tension and chronic pain, improving concentration, reducing anger and frustration and boosting confidence.

On a deeper level, this body awareness can help you change your reactions to situations and you can manage your stress better.  It is meant to improve the quality of your life and help you see situations/behaviors you need to change.  It can help you see that you have choices each moment with each encounter and situation you face.  You may not be able to choose every situation you face, but you can choose your reaction to the situations.  This can lead to more inner joy and peace.

During a restorative yoga class with me, the body is put into supported positions by the use of lots of blocks, blankets, and bolsters.  It is done on the floor and very little movement is involved.  You will connect to your breath and come back to it anytime the mind starts to wander.  The energy in the room is set during my classes through the use of minimal lighting, soft music or nature sounds, and each ‘spot’ already set up for a class participant.  If you get chilly easily, I suggest wearing long sleeves, long pants, and socks.

A fantastic restorative yoga pose.

Chronic stress is a major contributor to many diseases, so restorative yoga is a great way to turn inward and let go of what is holding on tight in your body.  There are so many benefits to restorative yoga; it really is an easy way to begin a preventative form of self-health care.  A little self-care time now will go a long way to your overall health and wellness.

In my opinion, we need to begin to take back our lives and only commit to what truly interests us/enriches our lives.  We need to celebrate “being” instead of “doing” to help ease the burden of overscheduling our too-busy selves/kids. We spend 100% of our time with ourselves, so it makes sense to me that we nurture and cherish the relationship with have with ourselves.  Get to know yourself again.

As promised, today is about my studio.  To get there, we have to make a little detour.  Please bear with me. 🙂

I had a previous business I started about 5 years ago and was doing private T-Tapp sessions in my home.  I live out in the western edge of Omaha and many people who were interested in trying T-Tapp felt it was too far to travel.  After becoming a certified yoga teacher and gaining some specialized training in restorative yoga, I purchased props and planned to do private sessions and even some classes from home.  Again, the same distance issue plagued me.  So after some major soul searching, prayer, and meditation, I decided to take a huge risk.  I also was no longer content with the name of the business…it just no longer fit with what message I wanted to send.

With the support of my amazing husband, I changed the business name, changed the focus, and leased a space.  I also worked with a local, female graphic artist to create a new logo.  Thank you to Dana Osborne at dSydesigns here in Omaha for her amazing work and encouragement!  With that, restorUphoria began to take shape.

The name came from me doodling and playing around with the concept of restorative yoga and my desire to help people find/uncover happiness.  I know I have wasted so much time searching for things outside myself to “create” happiness.  Or with keeping myself so busy that I don’t feel I have the time to feel what’s going on inside and really prioritize what makes me happy and what I’m doing to make others happy.  I have a much better grasp on the reality that happiness comes from within and that I can say “No” to requests made of me.  I may not always be great at these concepts, but I do a much better job of it now than in years past…after all, aren’t we all a work in progress!?  I wanted to convey that what I hope to offer is a chance for you to reconnect with yourself-your true inner self, quiet all the voices-including your own at times, to really uncover/discover that you hold your happiness within (restore euphoria).   So, when you combine restore and euphoria, and place a focus on YOU (bringing it down to U) you get restorUphoria.  My tag line is “uncover your inner tranquility” – our true self and happiness is there, we just have to uncover it.

The tool I use most often will be restorative yoga, so you can tune in to what your body is trying to tell you and so you can release stored stress and tension.  Restorative yoga is a fantastic way to help the body release tension…it is a great tool for stress management. More about restorative yoga and it’s benefits another day. 🙂  But let me say that it is very unintimidating and accessible to most. Lots of props-blankets, blocks, and bolsters are used to support the body so the muscles can relax and release stress and tension.  It is all done on the floor and I like to call it rest-full yoga.

So what is unique about restorUphoria?  I have a vision of where I’d like things to go in the future, but for now, it is just me in a small, quaint space.  I hold small classes of no more than 6. I have enough props to do a class of 6 and I also like to be able to personally help each class participant get into the pose comfortably.  I am not a typical looking yoga teacher and hope that if you are interested in trying it that you will feel I am approachable and authentic enough to come in and see what it is all about.  I admit, I don’t have all the answers, but I do know that working with students offers me a chance to learn in real life with real life situations.  I have things set up so that participants can register and pay ahead of time for the class or appointment time they would like.  I feel it’s important to make your health/wellness a priority, so making an appointment and prepaying gives you the opportunity to commit to yourself and not just set yourself aside.  Keep an appointment with yourself just like you keep an appointment with a client or your best buds!

I am in the Shake Place building at 10730 Pacific Street, in Suite 29, here in Omaha, Nebraska.  I am in the basement, so you have to go down the stairs or elevator to the lower level.  You can visit my website at http://www.restoruphoria.com to sign up for a class or session, see what’s going on, or see what other services I offer or contact me with questions.

restorUphoria – View from entrance

restorUphoria – View from back

Until next time…take some time to rest and relax…simply BE…your body will thank you.

Tamara

Hello

My name is Tamara Allen and I’m just like everyone else…I want to be heard, seen, and valued. I’m much more a wallflower who likes to take in the conversation at gatherings than the outspoken one offering opinions, insight, or thoughts.  But in the spirit of personal growth, I’m facing fears and not letting them control me.  I’m approaching 40 and it seems time to put my big girl pants on and share with the world…how do I know that what I have to say wouldn’t inspire someone or be exactly the words someone needs to hear to face their own fears.

I have to say, 2013 was a year of facing fears and doing something BIG!  I opened a (primarily) restorative yoga studio in September.  I had been holding private sessions of restorative yoga and T-Tapp in my home, but felt it was time to take the plunge and get a brick and mortar place to call my own.  I changed the name and the focus of the business and am working toward creating the vision I had in my head of this dream.

My studio is called restorUphoria and is located at 10730 Pacific Street, in Suite 29, here in Omaha, Nebraska.  I am in the basement of the Shaker Place building at 107th and Pacific.  I am a one-woman crew teaching classes, holding private sessions, answering the phone and email, marketing, and all the other jobs that a business owner does.  I’ll introduce you to more of my studio and my offerings another time.  If you’d like to check things out in the meantime, please visit http://www.restoruphoria.com and have a look around.  I’d love to hear from you if you have questions or want to see certain classes/offerings offered!

A little about me…I have been married to my high school sweetheart and best friend, Michael, for nearly 21 years.  We have two amazing young men…one in college and one in high school.  They bring me so much joy and I have enjoyed the ride called motherhood.  As we move toward having an empty nest it adds a new set of twists and turns, which is interesting and can be emotional. Thank goodness I have many friends who I can turn to when I need a place to sound off or talk through experiences.

We have 4 pets…3 dogs and a cat.  I love to read…I have waaayyy too many books, but I just can’t help myself!  I prefer to have the actual book in my hand than read from an e-reader.  My boys used to play soccer and through watching them, I gained a LOVE of the game.  I have been to see the Kansas City MLS team play 3 times.  I love watching football as well and can’t wait to go see a KC Chiefs game someday at Arrowhead.

There’s so much more I could tell, but I think I’ll let you all get to know me more through future postings.

To close, I want to share a quote by Brene Brown that I strive for each and every day. “Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we are supposed to be and embracing who we are.”

Until next time!

Tamara